I wanted to share a recent interview I heard regarding relationships. I heard it on the podcast This American Life. This episode is about people making bad choices so I was surprised when the epilogue started talking about marriage. The host, Ira Glass, is speaking with author Alain De Button. Button’s argues that many of us enter into marriage in all the wrong ways. He reflects to us that we expect one person to be our best friend, lover, cohabitant, emotional support system and financial partner. When you look at it that way, it seems so silly that we expect one person to be all those things and to do so without ever upsetting the other. After all, you’re supposed to marry the love of your life, the most perfect person ever and live happily ever after. When you go into marriage with those expectations, how can ever expect to succeed? Button’s viewpoint is a very pragmatic, arguably very dark stance on love and marriage. But I have to admit, I think he’s really on to something here….. My husband and I were in the car together listening to the podcast. When we heard Mr Button’s ideas and examples, we both laughed…. A lot! Button suggests that when you marry someone, you have to be aware of and willing to put up with their ‘crazy’. Everyone has some crazy and when you live with a person, you learn about their crazy pretty quickly. Raise your hand if you know you’re crazy. Put it another way, raise your hand if you know that something you do would drive another person you live with crazy. The question is, can you handle their specific brand of crazy, and what’s more, can you still love them through it? The entire podcast is an hour long, but Alain De Button’s portion is only the first 5 minutes. Give it a listen here. Do you agree with him?
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