"The most profound personal growth does not happen while reading a book or meditating. It happens in the throes of conflict, when you are angry, afraid, frustrated. It happens when you are doing the same old thing and you suddenly realize that you have a choice." - Vironika Tugaleva
Most people who come to therapy are hurting and, understandably, want relief. They want a pill or homework or a book or a practice to take away the pain. And all those methods are good. What a hypocrite would I be if I said those weren't helpful. But there is sometimes an implicit desire to self-help yourself out of pain or emotions or needs. Basically, we want a cure to being human. But that's not it. Spoiler alert, there is no cure. We have to do life. And life is messy.
Plus, sidebar, have you met anyone who hasn't had pain, what a boring person! Who watches a movie about a person with no problems!?! They wouldn't grow or be complex or build character.
As not sexy as it is, we don’t get to just escape pain. Instead, we get stronger to deal with the pain. We build the pain-tolerance muscle. And that muscle, like all muscle, takes real work to build.
You can’t build muscle by reading about muscles, or talking about muscles, or wishing for muscles. That's ridiculous! No, you work out. And working out isn't easy. But comfort and growth don’t happen at the same time. You better work!
All that said, the work is hard but you don’t have to do it alone. Get in touch today and we can get to work!