“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”
-Anais Nin
One day into a resolution and I had pretty much decided resolutions are bullshit! That's not true...but they are uncomfortable! Really uncomfortable.
I'm a creature of habit and this year I decided to change a habit that was no longer serving me. I hadn't realized how much I was outsourcing a sense of comfort to this habit until I hit pause on it and I got super uncomfortable.
My inner tantrumming toddler (who just wants to feel good and comfy) felt the discomfort and started to freak the fuck out. "I don’t want to. No! No! No!" My rascally inner teenager (who also wants to feel comfortable but just gets a little more angsty about it) chimed in with thoughts like: "This is so dumb! Why are you even doing this bullshit!? It wasn’t such a big deal anyways. It's not like anyone knows or cares. Blah blah blah" (Sorry for the "blah blah blah" kid, but you were serving up some real crap up in there!).
Thankfully, this isn’t my first rodeo! I've practiced making tough changes enough to have some tools up my sleeve.
Here's how I am addressing my uncomfortableness with change:
Acknowledge the discomfort. There was a reason why I had the routine in the first place, so taking it away is obviously going to be hard. Plus, ANY change is hard. Duh! No need to deny it. It's allowed to be uncomfortable.
Remind myself why I'm doing this. The routine didn’t serve me. It's important for me to practice being honest with myself and caring for myself and course-correcting when necessary. As much as change is uncomfortable, knowing I need to make a change and ignoring it is suffering. Losing self-respect by not acting is WAY more painful that the discomfort of making a change that is in line with my values.
Distract! No need to sit and focus on discomfort. Discomfort is like a bug bite, the more you focus on it and scratch at it, the worse it gets. Time to throw my focus and attention into something that has the potential to make me feel better (or at least not feel worse).
Remind myself that I can ask for help. A trusted friend or family member or therapist can help provide resources and accountability and motivation when that inner voice tells me "I just can’t anymore..."
Give myself some props. It's important to take time to be proud of yourself and reinforce healthy decisions.
RINSE AND REPEAT as often as necessary!
Notice/remind myself that (after a while) it gets easier. The only constant in life is change. The discomfort at the beginning of making a change doesn’t last.
Alright 2023, let's do this! This is my year to get past the uncomfortable and work towards what is serving me. The past few years have been HARD and being uncomfortable became something we all feared. But I am taking it back and making it mine again.
Need help dealing with the emotions and challenges that come along with any major changes you have decided to make in your life? Change is hard, and I am here to help you deal with the hard. Reach out to me today.