By reading the title, I bet you are wondering if there is a typo where the word 'friend’ exists in the same sentence as depression. How is that possible? We hate depression, right? Almost everything about depression on the internet explains how it is enemy number one and how we can overcome it. In many instances, I agree with the desire to get rid of depression as it can be incredibly debilitating to not just the individual but those around them as well. However, I would like to suggest something different.
Treat Depression as a Friend
Let us view depression as a friend, just for a little bit. Consider this a thought exercise. The more time I spend practicing as a therapist, the more I have noticed clients’ goals of excommunicating the big-bad ’depression’. People are taught that depression is something that should be “treated”, “overcome”, or “dealt with”. Society tells us that people with depression are sick and need to have it taken care of.
Ideally, it sounds wonderful to get rid of this so-called ‘negative’ energy and be able to enjoy the sunshine and rainbows of the world. But what is holding them back? It could be because getting rid of something that is so deeply rooted in our nervous systems feels impossible and even discouraging.
So let us put on our new filtered lens and take a peek at what is the purpose of depression in me. Have you noticed how depression has been there to protect you from further harm? Minimizing risks? Evolutionary speaking, depression encourages the individual to rest.
“While depression may be maladaptive when it comes to mood and social interactions, the symptoms could be quite adaptive when it comes to keeping a person alive while fighting infection. The theory also helps explain why stress can trigger depressive episodes. It may be the body’s effort to amp up the immune response in preparation for infection.” (Walton, 22)
Different Ways to Look at Depression
If we take a break from resisting this very important part of us, we just might notice the purpose of its existence in our lives. To try something different, would be to understand and befriend it first. Once you feel like you have made peace with depression as a part of you, only then can you start to encourage that part to move over to the passenger seat, while you focus on taking the right steps towards regaining control of your goals and life.
Being aware of how depression is negatively (isolation, lack of motivation) and positively (reevaluation of habits, re-prioritization, self-protection) impacting your lives.
Speak to yourself and the depressive part with kindness and grace. (Negative self-talk discourages us from making progress)
Encourage the self in you to be in control of the daily goals that you wish to achieve.
Start collecting the small victories throughout your day.
Rewrite your story with new-found motivation and confidence!
If you struggle with depression and want to learn how to see it from a different perspective, please schedule an appoint with me today.