Kate Cobb, LMFT, PhD
As my mom says, excuse my French, but let’s cut the shit - life is short. All of us want to make the most of the time we have by enjoying it with people we love, but sometimes that is really hard to do. You might have relationships where you can’t agree on big things or relationships where you nit-pick at each other over small things that don’t really matter. You might not understand why someone explodes at you after you ask a seemingly innocent question about taking out the garbage. You might not know what the other person is thinking or feeling or how to express your own feelings and needs. You might not even know what you’re feeling or what you need.
I am here to help you figure it out. Coping skills are great, but I want more than that for you. I want your life to be different. I want you to see your world in a whole new way after our conversations and I most of all I want you to see possibility. Together we can unpack all of the layers that go into making up who you are and what your relationships are like and use all of this information to make a plan customized to you and the important people that surround you.
At the end of the day, I want you to feel connected… to yourself, to others, to your purpose in life, to the ground beneath your feet. Let’s slow down and figure this out together.
More about me…
I’m a midwestern girl who grew up in a Chicago suburb and loved going to the city for all sorts of fun things - most of them related to music or shopping. I met my husband in a choir when we were teenagers majoring in psychology. We both graduated from the University of Iowa (at least) twice — the first time as undergrads with bachelor degrees in psychology and the second time as doctors. My husband (who is much better at math and chemistry) went to medical school and is now a practicing Psychiatrist. I earned my PhD in Couples and Family Therapy.
After graduating school, we moved to Denver to be closer to family, a big city, and the outdoors. We have two dogs, a cat, and our wildest animal of them all - our son. The comfortable routine all of us (including the animals) had settled into over the years we were in school was completely upended and we’re still finding our footing as new parents. Even now after we’ve had a few years to settle in, the only thing I know for sure is I’ll never have it fully figured out.
It is the task of a lifetime to try to balance being a present and engaged mother with a healthy romantic relationship, a meaningful career, and filling my own cup. For me having it all might not mean having it all - at the same time.
I have a serious love of arts and crafts and pop culture. If left to my own devices you’d find me in a cabin binging Bravo or SNL reruns and painting clouds or knitting..
Why people often confuse me with a Clinical Psychologist…
Not very many people have their PhD in Couples and Family Therapy. There are only 20 programs (give or take some closing or opening) that offer that degree. Why? Because you don’t need it. It’s optional. Insurance companies pay you the same as those with their Master’s degree. And plenty of great therapists only have their master’s degree because you do so much learning outside school.
So why do I have my PhD at all? In short - because I’m curious. I’m curious about people and why they do what they do. I love learning and I love talking, but I especially love talking to others excited about learning and being curious together. So, I immersed myself in four more years of school to understand the art and science of couple and family therapy from the inside out. I ran data, I wrote the research papers, I gave presentations, and I learned so much. I learned to be a teacher of therapists and in doing so became a better therapist myself.
Another reason I spent all the time learning about therapy? I love what I do. I love being able to bring a new perspective on a problem, I love helping couples name the thing that has been bugging them, I love identifying the pattern of a fight and helping people feel seen. I love translating for clients who feel like their partner is not really hearing them. Most of all I love when I teach my clients something and they use it to make changes in their lives.
Good therapy is a balance of reflecting on big ideas or big feelings and giving you tools to make small, everyday changes. We will be reflective in sessions, but I will also be direct.
Good therapy is a balance of you feeling safe but also stretched. A personal trainer who doesn’t help you break a sweat isn’t going to help you lose weight. A therapist who doesn’t push you a little isn’t going to help you make change in your life. I am here to support you but I also ask the hard questions and tell you the stuff your friends won’t.
Good therapy is a balance of art and science. Everything I do in therapy is informed by research, but I don’t live and die by one methodology or research-based treatment. I use Internal Family Systems theory language and I talk a lot with my clients about how different parts of ourselves work together in a system. I also reference a lot of attachment research in my work with clients and believe that it is important to attend to emotional safety and security.
If you want to know more about my style of therapy or see if we’d be a good fit I’d love to chat.