Erika Holmes, LMFT
I KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE DISCONNECTED. I KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO STRUGGLE WITH MOOD, CHANGE, GRIEF, AND IDENTITY.
I also know, from my own struggles and countless hours of study and work with clients, how to fight demons and doubt and create a juicy, messy, fun filled life.
They say “those who can’t do, teach”. And sure, I have a lot of tools, theories, and skills I can teach. But I also CAN (and do!) do. So I don’t want to just teach--I want to lead. My style of leadership is like that of a Sherpa. I have lived my whole life on the mountains of anxiety and depression and trauma. I’ve spent a good amount of time climbing my own eating disorder and dysfunctional relationship mountains. And I’m still here. I’ve studied my own path and others, gathered tools and learned patterns, and have tricks to weather storms. But I can and will only move as fast as you can stay with me. I will be responsive to your ideas on where you want to go, and how you want to get there... I’m willing to adapt. I’m also willing to tell you that you’re crazy and the way you’re going will lead you off the side of a cliff! And I will insist that we stop and celebrate and enjoy the views and accomplishments along the way!
Who I like working with/who seems to like working with me...
I work best with people who know they have some work to do and are willing to do it. If you think you have life figured out and don’t need to change or grow and just want tools to manage the people around you--this likely isn’t a good match. If you’re feeling forced or coerced or mandated to see me, OR if you’re the one forcing someone to come into therapy with you--this likely isn’t a good match. I’m not into forcing someone’s process and don’t feel good being a dictator in anyone’s life. I’m not here to fix anyone by my myself and I’m thankfully not a mind reader, so I don’t know what everyone needs without active participation and feedback. However, if you’re on board with working hard in & out of sessions and being collaborative, I’m tenacious as fuck and an excellent team player.
I work best with people who, at least in theory, are opened-minded. We all clamp down under stress and change is always hard and I ALWAYS give my clients the power of veto on any idea or suggestion I have. But if we’re going to work well together, it’s helpful if you’re cool with getting creative and trying new shit. That might look like being open to a new book or podcast or theory or piece of research. It might be that we incorporate music or art or movement. Maybe I have you practice a visualization or do an affirmation or have a conversation with your child self (have I lost you yet!?!). Maybe I suggest you involve a psychiatrist or research other modalities like acupuncture or chiropractors or we explore how to safely use and integrate psychedelic medicines like KAP (Ketamine Assisted Therapy) . Still here?? Excellent!
Personality-wise, I work best with people who have some youthfulness and spunk. I also work best with people who have a high level of curiosity. It’s best when we start if we can 'nerd out' on you and your behavior and why it’s there and how it can change. When we 'nerd out' and get super real about you, we'll go deep while also laughing a lot (and probably swearing tbh) along the way. If you’ve felt misunderstood, have had to get scrappy in life, and have maintained some appreciation for humor, beauty, and absurdity--we’re a match made in therapy heaven! ! But mostly what I ask is that you’re willing to let me earn your trust so that you show up as your full, messy, gorgeous, authentic self.
10 random facts about me:
I’m an identical twin. Don’t worry, neither of any interest in switching places and swapping jobs. It will always just be me.
I’m half Canadian
My first concert was Lilith Fair
I was a bit of a tom-boy as a kid and played roller hockey and rode ATVs
I didn’t start running until college, but since then have done two marathons and many, many half marathons and 10ks. But my favorite thing is trail running and I love to run to the tops of the mountains along the Colorado divide.
I am passionately nerdy about a handful of topics including: running, comedy, podcast, running and comedy podcasts, knowing the local spots to go leaf peeping and wildflower peeping, and whatever’s going on in the forefront of the therapy/self help world.
I've travelled extensively, but have not been to Africa or South America…yet. Suggestions of where to start exploring in either of those locations are welcome.
I’ve jumped off a cliff AND jumped out of a plane.
I’ve broken 6 bones and had 3 surgeries. (I’m hoping *knock on wood* I’ve met my lifetime quota on this front and am done with all that!)
I was born without wisdom teeth
MY CLINICAL COUNSELING EXPERIENCE
My practice is rooted in building a collaborative working relationship with my clients. I am interested in helping people build a secure relationship with themselves and others and do that by drawing primarily from Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP), Somatic Therapy, and Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy (PACT).
I graduated with honors from Pepperdine University as a member of Psi Chi Honor Society. With over 10 years of clinical experience both in agency work and in private practice, I have extensive experience working with clients in a wide range of ages, struggles, and goals.
I am ready to hear your story, let’s talk today.
Want to hear more from Erika?
Read Her Blogs
Listen to her as a guest on these podcasts!
The Endless Honeymoon Podcast
Erika, as a marriage counselor, talk with hosts Moshe and Natasha to weigh in about their specific tiffs and give general suggestions everyone can use to get through this time of quarantine. Then they give advice to one caller whose partner has unusual eating habits and hear a few secrets!
Mental Illness Happy Hour Podcast!
Marriage and Family Therapist Erika Holmes answers listener questions from Facebook and Twitter. Topics include Eating Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, PTSD therapies, Neurofeedback and damage caused by parents who are religious zealots.