Unless you are doing something blatantly awful like beating up your kids or leaving them home alone while you jet off to Vegas, you are probably doing a fine job of raising your kid/s. I only have one child so I have plenty of time to wonder how I am totally screwing this up. I think if I had a bunch of kids I wouldn’t have time to worry about all this screwing up nonsense.
I’m not sure if it’s just me, it might be, but I don’t want my kid scheduled into classes, clubs, activities every day of the week and on weekends where I am made to drive all over the state. If you are a parent with a child and you both like that lifestyle, more power to you. I happen to like the fact that my son isn’t scheduled out the wazoo. He’s in school from 7:45 until 4 or 5 pm. I think even that is a bit much but he loves his school so it’s all good.
I tend to feel guilty when he shuts himself in the game room playing his video games. He plays too many video games and I let him. Horrible by today’s standards, right? What would society (other parents) say?!?! I don’t know, but I do know he is also having fun and I did the same thing when I was a kid. He also gets almost straight A’s. When I was a kid we entertained ourselves with videogames, MTV, movies, and TV dinners. If we were bored we made up games to play, burnt bugs with a magnifying glass (sorry bugs), had mud pie wars and ran around the neighborhood.
Things I have done to “mess up” my son:
Allow him to play all day on the XBOX
Shamed him (accidently but still…)
For sure I taught him swear words (I can’t believe I fucking did that, but I did.)
Not enough veggies and fruits and way too many chips and ice cream.
I didn’t believe him and then found out he told the truth. Sigh….
Had one too many cocktails in front of him
Fought with my husband and for sure he heard
(side bar - my mom told me once that my dad came home after too much boozing and peed in the closet cuz he thought it was the bathroom, hahaa, I have NOT done that)
So if you are a parent who spends quality time with your kid/s, gives them lots of love and hugs and kisses, is there for them when they need you, well you are one awesome human being. They don’t HAVE to have a phone. If you are considering it, call me so I can get The Phone Contract out to you asap. My son’s job is to try hard in school, be a good friend, have fun and be a nice human. That’s it. He doesn’t have to be numero uno at a team sport, he just has to play if he wants to and enjoy the game.
There are way too many kids ending up in hospitals and inpatient facilities because of the huge amounts of anxiety put on them in school, sports, social settings, you name it. The super sad part is that often all the beds are taken. Let’s just encourage our kids to be kids, to be who they are and we love them no matter what. If they get an F, we love them. If they strike out, we hug them for trying. If they no longer want to play when the seasons over, they don’t have to sign up again.
If you have a list like mine, congratulations, you are a real live person who makes mistakes. Own your shit, apologize when you jack it up and move on. It’s called being a good role model when you haven’t been a good role model, get it? Let’s all stop pretending that certain parents have it all together cuz I’m here to tell you it’s total bullshit.
If you are brave enough (and you don’t have to be!), go ahead and put your list of jacking it all up in the comments section. Let’s all bond over it. Or, if you’d rather do it in private, call me and we can chat. No more feeling like we are alone in this parenting business, the only one confused and sometimes freaked out. Cuz I really think we are ALL a part of that group.
Thoughts??