Before we begin this strange journey, please note that I have changed many facts to conceal identities.
The fact that I even feel the need to write this post is absurd. This happens daily to people who receive them but they have NO desire to actually see a dick pic. If you do, fine, but set up that agreement before you just assume that somebody wants to see your junk. Just a friendly reminder, folks, that things you send over text, email, and most forms of online anything, are now stored someplace FOREVER. Plus, sending these to a minor, no matter what your age, you are now a criminal and you can be arrested and labeled a pedofile for the rest of your life. It’s a terrible idea. DON’T DO IT.
Here’s the story. My friend was over yesterday and a man sent her an unsolicited dick pic. UNSOLICITED. And not just ANY man. She knows the number and she knows who it is from, but she thought there was no way it was from HIM. The man is her ex father-in-law. For real. Yes, you can laugh, we were rolling on the floor even though we were totally grossed out. I mean how stupid can you be?! It turns out that people can be
REALLY REALLY REALLY STUPID
The problem with technology is that you make one tiny mistake and the mother of your Goddaughter gets the pic that you were trying to send to an affair partner, which in itself is not a good idea, see paragraph #1. Or your wife sees the inappropriate text you sent to your business partner. Or your husband sees the text from your affair partner at 5 AM because you forgot to turn off your phone. Or the texts from your almost affair partner pop up on your home computer because you turned on all the notifications everywhere. STOP DOING THIS! If you feel the need to step outside of your relationship for any reason and it’s a secret, you are super likely to get caught so just go ahead and end it. Then you don’t have to be secretive and potentially destroy the other person’s world. And trust me, worlds are destroyed. People usually recover in due time, but I can hardly describe the internal devastation that I see in my office on a weekly basis. It’s heart wrenching.
Back to our story. So now my friend is stuck with a big disgusting unsolicited mess on her hands. Does she tell her ex husband? Does she text her ex-father-in-law back? What if her son had seen those pics, or worse what if they had been sent to him? This is his grandfather for crying out loud.
Here’s what actually happened next. After we laughed our asses off, and got mostly over being totally grossed out, she texted him back and said she wasn’t sure what to do about this. Then the most hilarious thing happened. He texted back, “disregard.” WHAAAT!?!? OMG, on what planet can one disregard and unsee a dick pic? More rolling on the floor.
While we are on the subject of bad ideas, here are two other online things that will get you in trouble…
Creating a facebook page to “meet new friends”. Facebook will figure out who you already know and message those people to ask if they want to be friends with you. Now your little secret profile isn’t a secret.
You are having an affair and decide it’s OK to text. Oh shoot, you forgot that your texts pop up on your computer. And your ipad. And your husband knows that “Jane” doesn’t send you sexy texts and pics. Busted.
You decide to send cute emojis to a co-worker and your wife sees them, you never send her cute emoji’s. DUMB.
If this scares you, well it should. Do not conduct personal “business” over your phone, your email, social media, etc… If you are struggling in your relationship, that is normal normal normal. Partnerships struggle all the time, it’s part of the journey. If something is missing for you,let us help you figure it out andhow to go about getting your needs met without putting you and your relationship in danger. #nodickpics