For many people who are looking to adopt a baby, creating your personal book is part of that process. For those who haven’t had to do so, the book is like a scrapbook snapshot of your life. Nowadays, most people use internet photo services to upload photos, add descriptions and print out hard copies. Then, these books are shared with birth mothers who use them to help match up birthparents and adoptive parents.
My husband and I are in the process of creating our book right now. When I first heard about these books, I was excited. I thought it would be fun to look through old photos and share the story of our lives with others. However, now that I’m in the middle of it, it’s really quite daunting. With the agency that I am working with, these books are shown to the birth mothers who have most of the control when it comes to the matching process. I like this model and I agree with the reasoning behind it; however, it is also the reason that I have about 20 pages to try to convince a total stranger that she should give me her child… her CHILD! I’ve found this process to also make me feel very vulnerable.
How do you display seven years of a relationship in way that makes you look loving, caring, responsible, etc. Additionally, how do we make ourselves stand out from other couples who are also just as deserving of this amazing gift? Are we likeable? Seem pretentious? Not good enough? Generic and exactly like every other couple? I’m suddenly regretting never having gotten into the scrapbooking fad! I love my life. I think we’re pretty great. But honestly, in Colorado, everyone loves to hike, ski and has at least one adorable dog so how I can get us to be THE ONES? So now I have a pile of photos, some other books to use as references, no idea what to do next… An update to follow when the book is completed.
If you are looking to adopt, or have adopted in the past, and need someone to talk to about all of the emotions that come along with adopting, please come see me and we can work through it together.