Why do people have affairs?
If you ask people why they think other people have affairs, they think it’s about sex. They think that perhaps one person isn’t measuring up in the bedroom. It’s NOT about sex.
Affairs are about reconnecting with or newly discovering parts of yourself you have lost or parts you never knew existed. It’s an awakening of sorts. That’s what makes affairs so enticing and erotic. People who have affairs are constantly saying that they feel ALIVE again.
Most people who have affairs – emotional or physical – say that it is totally against their morals, values and ethics. But the carrot being dangled in front of them is too good to pass up. The carrot is like a magic pill to reinvigorate and reignite passion in themselves and in life.
And here’s the thing that most people don’t get…lots of people who have affairs are in what they call a happy marriage or partnership. That’s not true for everybody, but it is true for a lot of people.
For people really missing things in their life, they will find it fulfilled with an affair partner. Not being paid attention to? They’ll find it in another person. Not feeling needed, loved, heard, valued, seen? They’ll find it and be seduced by it because they are so starved for that one thing.
Affairs may take a long time to get over, or to move past. But it’s not at all impossible. In fact, while it is incredibly painful for the betrayed partner, some of them say it’s a huge wake up call and are extremely motivated to rescue and repair the marriage. It doesn’t mean that they aren’t angry, of course they are.
If you have had an affair or you suspect your partner is having an affair, this is not the end of your world. Let’s get each of you the tools and techniques needed to move beyond the betrayal and regain something better than you had before.
You don’t have to suffer by yourself! I specialize exclusively in relationships issues for couples and individuals and marital affairs. Let’s make your relationship what you have always wanted it to be….trustworthy, honest, safe, loving, fun and passionate. If you are ready for that, let’s talk today.