Validate You Partner Even if You Don't Agree

I talk to clients a lot about validation. It is helpful in a relationship to acknowledge the other person’s feelings and express to the other person that you can understand where they're coming from (even if you disagree). It communicates that you see them, that they matter, that they're not alone. And those messages are soothing.

“But Erika”, you ask, “what if I DONT get it!?! What if I don't understand what they're feeling or why they're feeling that way?” 

Great question, hypothetical reader! 

Answer: ask them! 

Be curious. Curiosity is also validating. You're not always going to understand what your partner is thinking or feeling. After all, you're not a mind reader. But saying, "I'm listening, but help me out, I'm not sure I understand (fill in the blank)" communicates that you're listening, that they matter, that they're not alone and you're seeking connection. Who doesn't love that!?! 

Do you and your partner need help when it comes to validation? Reach out to me today and let’s work on that together.