You've probably seen the movie Groundhog Day where Bill Murray keeps repeating the day over and over and over. If you are doing this in your life, whether at work, home or with family, here are some things to consider.
If you have a habit that isn't serving you, get yourself a new one. For example, if you find yourself being defensive constantly, you need to switch it up. Instead of remaining in your defensive posture, try to take in what the other person is saying as information and not an attack. You might tell the other person that you know you have a pattern of getting defensive and that you are trying to get out of that cycle. If they hear you coming from a place of invitation to discuss and not a stance of defensiveness, you might find yourself having a totally different interaction. Remember that they are used to you pushing back and possibly not being open minded.
This might be tough at first especially if the other person stays stuck in their routine of attack and blame. If this happens, try to remain calm and always remember that if you can focus on your own reactions, you will help manage the other person. You are trying to shift the way things have been going for months, but most likely years. Be patient with yourself and the other person.
Habits solidify over time, not overnight. Give yourself and your partner time to adjust and don't give up. Like I always say, you don't walk into the gym and come out with a six pack stomach. You need to practice new skills on a daily basis until it becomes a habit. Once you get the habit into muscle memory, it becomes so much easier.
If you need help breaking up with your habits, or learning how to switch it up, we are here for you. Schedule an appointment today.