20 Reasons to Consider Couples Counseling

Are you considering couples counseling for yourself and your partner? Looking for help is the first step. Here are 20 reasons to consider couples counseling:

  • You keep thinking to yourself that you and your spouse / partner aren’t communicating well. I give you the EXACT couples counseling exercises and techniques you need in order to express yourself effectively.

  • You keep having the same arguments over and over. In couples counseling, we will figure out what habits are sabotaging your efforts and why you aren’t getting your needs met.

  • You can’t remember what the arguing was about in the first place. It started as a complaint about a dirty table and ended up about how you feel totally disrespected!  In this part of couples therapy, we will uncover what your underlying needs are and how you are contributing to the cycle of fighting.

  • You can’t figure out how to phrase something so that the other person can actually hear it, you don’t feel heard. If this is during an argument, it is likely that you are trying to persuade your partner that you are right.  In couples therapy we will explore why this hardly ever works and tell you what you need to do instead.

  • You feel like you walk on egg shells all the time. Couples therapy will help you stand up for yourself effectively while not putting the other person down so they can have an open mind about your point of view.

  • You are constantly wondering if you are living up to their expectations. You don’t have to live up to their expectations!  Those expectations belong to them, not you.

  • You feel like a crappy mom / wife / husband – so much guilt around not being good enough. We will explore why you are good enough right now and how you can feel even better.  You ARE enough.

  • You are wondering where the passion went! This is retrievable, you have to make the time and commitment!  You need to plan, to pay attention and to be active in your relationship.  I will also give you homework assignments to help with the awkwardness!

  • You are having better conversations with friends and coworkers than your spouse / partner. Couples counseling shows you how to reignite that spark and to avoid the temptation of doing it with somebody else.

  • You are avoiding going home because home is actually lonely even though somebody else is in the house. I will show you how to gently reintroduce conversation into the relationship that is completely gentle and reengaging – oh and it’s fun.

  • You need to figure out how to have boundaries in your relationship. Don’t be a doormat and let people walk all over you!

  • You feel bad about getting angry. Anger sets a boundary – couples counseling will show you why this emotion is KEY!

  • Baggage! We all have it.  Couples therapy will show you how to unpack that baggage and leave it in the dust.

  • Only 25% of couples know how to fight fair. Most of us, 75%, are royally screwing this up and were never given the tools we need.  Couples therapy with me will show you the 12 skills you need to join the ranks of the successful couples.

  • There are 4 nails in the coffin for relationships. Defensiveness, contempt, criticism and stonewalling…but one is the deadliest.  Couples counseling will show you how to avoid these relationship killers and give you the antidotes.

  • Most couples don’t realize that their nervous systems are soothed in often opposite ways. What makes one person feel good brings out anxiety in the other.  Couples counseling gives you ways to maintain emotional stability when those anxiety producing moments pop up.

  • We often feel we’re made to be wrong in situations when our partners don’t agree with us. We aren’t wrong, we just have a different viewpoint.  Couples counseling shows you how to react effectively when you feel blamed or when your partner believes you are more to blame.

  • Affairs – this is a biggie. Yes – you can move beyond it.   Yes – you can heal from it.

  • There are 9 emotional habits that will never serve you in a relationship. With over 40 years of research from the top minds in the field, I will show you the 9 habits that you need to say bye-bye to and which habits you want to embrace.

  • Couples therapy can be FUN! Sure there are tough times, but let’s get you back to the place you want to be and to bring the joy back into your relationship.  I give homework and readings to every couple I work with.  These are fun, ego-boosting assignments meant to exercise and build your emotional muscle.

If any of these reasons sound like a good idea to you to consider couple counseling, please call me to set up a first appointment.  Couples counseling and relationship therapy should never be a scary or blaming place.  With me, it is a place to gather all the tools and skills you need to be a member of that 25% that does it right.  Anybody can join that group! Let’s talk today!