Couples Counseling Homework - Week 5

This week we are going to turn around and focus on YOU. You can’t have a healthy relationship without also focusing on yourself and your own self care, and that means putting yourself first. In fact, you should be putting yourself first most of the time. If you aren’t giving back to yourself on a regular basis, you can’t give in meaningful ways to the ones you love. Instead of giving them 95% awesome you, you will be coming in around 45% which doesn’t feel good to anybody involved.


I like to tell my clients to keep a toolbox handy of things that make them feel good. I also tell them to write the things down so on a rough day they have options to choose from because what works one day might not work the next. But this week, plan ahead and pick something that you are excited about. Here are some ideas of my own and some that my clients told me that they do for fun:

  • Facial
  • Foot Massage or whole body massage
  • Sky Diving (NOT on my list lol!!)
  • Mani / Pedi
  • A hike that ends with a spectacular view
  • Fishing
  • NIght out with your buddies
  • Roaming around the bookstore
  • 2 hours alone at the house - yes, the others have to leave
  • Taking photos
  • Skiing
  • Knitting
  • Listening to The Dead
  • Glass of wine on the porch
  • Hot bath or shower
  • Painting
  • Gardening
  • Walking
  • Be creative - dig out that project that you have been dying to complete

Whatever you choose, make sure you are really into it and it relaxes you. This is 100% about you and nobody else so make it super duper. Bonus points if you actually feel it’s a little selfish. The point is to be selfish in the best way possible so that you can then turn around and pay attention to others. I’d love to know your favorite ways to pamper yourself, feel free to leave a note! And check out the previous week’s couples counseling homework to stay caught up!