People have parts of themself they don't like. Maybe you think you're mean or too needy or unlovable for some reason. Those things become our shadows, dark parts we hide. We hide with sex, drugs, food, materialism, people pleasing, etc. Clearly those strategies can run their course and often run people into my office.
Instead of running from your shadow, make friends from it. Learn from it. It’s part of you. You can't run from or fight yourself forever. Those strategies we use to control our shadow often backfire and our worst fears come true when we can't control our feelings or behaviors any longer.
No you shouldn't just have that affair or binge on food or alcohol or rage at your mother. That's not what I'm saying. Those are simply ways we cover our true selves and avoid real needs of connecting to ourselves and others. The need to hide yourself under good clothes or a plastered-on smile, tends to decrease when we acknowledge our valid underlying needs and approach those needs consistently.
This is hard work and a big part of what we do in therapy. No need to do it alone. Part of my job (and a part I love) is walking that road with you and shining the light on your shadow so it's not so scary. Want me to help you? Reach out and let’s connect.
"Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light."- Brene Brown