This is going to be the year of putting myself first and I want all of you to do the same. I write a lot about couples, conflict, how to avoid it or recover from it, etc… However, to be part of a healthy relationship you have to take care of yourself first. YES FIRST. And don’t tell me you don’t have time, this is a question of priorities and you need to make yourself the top one. Even just thinking about it gets me happy. I am devoting this year to me and making it count - my posts will be a reflection of this.
I googled “put yourself first” to see what came up and the search results proved my point exactly. It’s so important to be kind to yourself, to treat yourself as you treat all the important people in your life (of course I am assuming you are a nice person!).
You suffer when everything else or everyone else comes first. If you are suffering, you can’t give in the way you intend to the people who matter most. If you need permission to put the rest of the folks in your life in the back seat, then here is your permission slip... for the rest of your life and especially for 2017.
Here are some tips to put yourself first or make yourself feel good. For all of you who feel guilty about this, stop it right now. If you are exhausted, overwhelmed and stressed out, then this post is for you. Below are just a handful of ideas on how I like to accomplish this and some links to take you to my favorite resources.
Take at least 10 minutes a day to something new or creative - inspired by my fav photographer, Willy - Life Unstill Photography.
Say NO, no no no no no. Being a YES person is exhausting.
Put daily rituals in place. I LOVE this planner...
Forgive yourself when you mess up.
Find one thing every day that will make you smile or feel fantastic and do it.
Do something that scares you or makes you uneasy, your brain loves a challenge.
Have time during the day where all electronics are turned off.
Find a great podcast that brings you joy and peace (Tara Brach is AMAZING).
Savor your meals - I mean really savor them.
Laugh out loud. This blog does it for me.
Take things off your to-do list that really aren’t important and add in something that replenishes you. Lists will go on forever, so put your important stuff first.
Be in the moment, not in the future. (again, Tara Brach)
You always have choices, make the one that will benefit you most.
Get Physical - you all know why. Find a great gym or find motivation at home. I hate gyms so I am making plans for my home gym this year.
Make plans or let life make them for you.
Lose the people in your life who are downers, nay-sayers, just a drag to be around and the ones who are critical and judgemental. Those people suck, drop them.
Get a candle that smells incredible - get 10 - always have one on hand.
Spend one meal a week with somebody who inspires you to be better, to be more, to live beyond. If that’s hard, then chat on the phone, go on a walk or connect via text. But connect.
Save all the wonderful emails, cards and messages people send to you and make a journal out of them. Turn to it when you are feeling blue, you will remember how deeply amazing you are.
Pat yourself on the back - you know you deserve it.
Make lists of what makes you feel good and keep it handy.
The message here is to pay attention to yourself, put yourself first and realize why it is so very important. Make lists, update them, change them and look at them daily. I like to make my lists in gorgeous journals of which I have far too many, but WTH, I love them and they make me feel great. Please tell me what inspires you and makes you feel great!
If you need help prioritizing you to make your relationship better and stronger, please reach out! I love to help people focus on themselves.