Anyone not stressed about elections!?! Either you're bombarded by ads and texts, you're worried about the outcome, you're disagreeing with loved ones or ALL of the above (and more)! Its stressful out there!
While this blog isn't going to solve everything (sorry!), here are a couple suggestions to deal with the elections.
1. Establish boundaries. Boundaries can be described as the intersection where I can respect you and me at the same time. Where is that line for you with social media? Where is that line with you and loved ones who disagree with you? Feel free to put boundaries in place and stand by them. If you're depleted and stressed, you're not going to listen, help, problem solve or cope as effectively as you might want to. It’s ok to keep your distance at this time.
2. Validate your feelings. There isn't a person out there who doesn't feel like something they need or value isn't at stake in this election. This can cause fear, sadness or anger. These feelings are important to notice and validate. If we don't acknowledge these feelings and we try to stay logical, we end up being the opposite of cool, calm collected and logical. The elections are a big deal. It’s OK to have big feelings.
3. Regulate your emotions. It’s OK to have big emotions. It’s not OK to let them take over. Try to notice the emotions then talk about your feelings with trusted friends or family, or with a therapist.
4. Engage when appropriate. Remember I said you're allowed to have boundaries. If you're going to engage, then you also need to listen. If you're going to listen, listen well. This means trying to listen for the understandable part. Usually that's underlying goals, values, and emotions. We may have different ways of dealing with fear or desire for change, but we can all relate to those feelings. When you can listen for the understandable part of an issue or argument and reflect it back to your loved one, the likelihood of a conflict decreases and potential for being heard increases. Try it.
5. Come back to your goals and values. Whatever the outcome, allow yourself to feel what you feel. Then come back to doing what you can do to continue to move towards your goals and values. No need to gloat or feel helpless. Notice feelings, find solice in community and in soothing and distraction, then get focused on what you can control. This is always your breathe, your focus, and your effort. Reorient to those.