How to Deal with New Year's Resolutions If You Have an Eating Disorder

In the beginning of every year there is a societal pressure to reinvent yourself in a new way. There is a surge of ads for weight loss programs and fitness apps that sends a message that you need to be a “new you.” In surveys about new year’s resolutions, about half of people stated that they wanted to lose weight. But these changes are easier said than done, and they can be triggering for those with eating disorders.

Disordered Eating and Resolutions

The difficulty of following through on new habits doesn’t disappear just because it is a new year, and what started as self-improvement becomes an exercise in self-punishment.  

Diet culture runs rampant in the beginning of every year, but creating “resolutions” that involve goal weights, restricted eating and fad diets, or obsessively working out can cause more stress and give people larger problems than they might think. Creating goals surrounding a number can make people obsess in an unhealthy way. It can start people down a path of disordered eating or disordered working out that can cause more stress and more anxiety than they are ready for.

How to Deal with Triggering Resolutions

Resolutions that involve weight loss can be extremely triggering to those who are in recovery. If you are someone who is in recovery, stand up for yourself and tell the people around you that you don’t want to hear about any resolutions that deal with weight loss or exercise. Stay off of social media if possible. Listen to anit-diet podcasts that help affirm your new ways of thinking about food and exercise. If you can’t avoid it and have found that you are triggered and thinking more about your own body in ways you are trying to get away from, reach out to your therapist for help.

New Year, Same You

Because the pandemic, politics, working from home, and other societal issues have caused more stress for most of us, this January is a perfect opportunity to forget the results-oriented resolutions or reinventing yourself and make a new kind of promise to yourself. Think about what is truly important in your life, what makes you happy, or what helps you thrive and make a commitment to prioritize this. 

If you work from home , now is a good time to reevaluate your boundaries around this activity. You may have lost touch with some family or friends during the stress of the last few years and you want to reprioritize these relationships. Maybe you’ve seen someone take up a new skill or hobby in the past few years that you think would be fun to try. 

2025 New Year Resolution Ideas: 

• Chase joy

• Keep a gratitude journal

• Do more of something you love 

• Commit to a better work-life balance

• Be more present 

• Focus on the positive

• Connect with family and friends more often

This year try something new. Instead of focusing on the things you don’t like, embrace what makes you happy, what you already like about yourself, or what you already have and resolve to foster more of it in your life. 

How to Tell Your Partner You Want Couples Counseling

Telling your spouse or partner you want to go to couples counseling can be really tricky for some people. In fact, I often get calls from people asking this very question. They know they need help but aren’t sure how to approach their partner and they aren’t sure what to say.  

Tell Your Partner You Want Couples Counseling

First, make it about you. Do not make it about them. Try something like this: “I am having trouble communicating with you and think I need some help in figuring this out. I think it would be great if we both went together. We could get a few tips and some new skills. What do you think?” Or:  “I would love to learn how to approach you in a new way so that maybe you can hear me better. And sometimes I don’t do a good job of hearing or listening to you either.  Would you be willing to go to couples counseling with me?” Or: “Honey, we know we are both really struggling right now, we have the same fights over and over. I think this is at least a 50 / 50 thing between us and I think we could use a little help here. I don’t think either one of us is to blame. How would you feel about some couples therapy to get us both back on track?”

Don’t Point Fingers

If you make it about the other person, you are assigning blame. Nobody wants to be the bad guy. Plus, the research shows that when couples are in conflict, it is almost always a 50 / 50 deal where no one person is more at fault.  

What’s best is if you can pinpoint the things you want to work on personally and name them.  Perhaps you want to figure out how to be more flexible, a bit more forgiving, not running away when things get tough, learning how to control your temper, not lashing out when the dish is left in the sink (it’s never about the dish anyway).

Talk and Listen With and Open Mind

Another option is letting your partner know that you sense this pattern that gets played out over and over again and you want to figure out how to jump out of it before it takes over again.  Think of the pattern as a weapon that is wounding each of you.  We can lay the weapon on the table and disarm both of you.  When we know what we are dealing with (the weapon, the pattern), we can then tease it apart and put you both back on the path to success so that you can thrive in your relationship.  

Ready to start working on your relationship? Call us today so we can help you and your partner get back to where you want to be.