We all know that relationships are hard. People can be mean or cold or violent or inconsistent. They can abandon you or invalidate you or scare you or hurt you. (Am I selling relationships or what!?!). As a therapist specializing in couples counseling, I help people who need to talk through those risks.
What I hadn’t heard being talked about much, but what I’m talking about a lot with clients now, is how hard it is to let people actually love you and treat you well.
It’s so hard that instead we accept less than we deserve. Or we push away people who are present and attentive. Or we start to give away parts of our selves or our boundaries because it’s hard to trust that love can be ours if we remain our true self. Despite wanting love, allowing ourselves to be loved can be so so hard.
If what you are reading sounds like what you are going through, that’s OK! Becasue:
1. You’re not alone
2. There’s probably some important and valid and painful reasons why being loved feels so hard
3. Change is possible.
Start to watch for places you block love. Start to watch for places you don’t have love or show love for yourself. Start to take baby steps towards being loving to yourself and letting other’s love in.
If you are struggling with this in your life, please reach out or book an appointment. We are here and ready to help.
-Erika