I believe that self-love is THE MOST IMPORTANT THING. Like in the world. Like always and forever.
Ok, strong statements, I know, but hear me out…
Out of every single person in the world I am the only one who knows what it feels like to be me. I am the only person who hears how I hear, who sees how I see, who loves the way I love, who experiences sadness in my way, who understands joy the way I’m meant to. I am, was and will be, with myself. It’s the one thing I can guarantee. If I don’t love me, I’m in a very difficult situation. And all this goes for you.
When we put our happiness, worthiness, valuation in someone or something else, we are saying something else matters more than our own sovereignty. When we say to ourselves consciously or unconsciously, “For me to be happy, I need him to love me,” or “I’ll really be myself when I lose these last 10 pounds,” we are literally saying someone or something else has control over how much we are worth, how much we deserve, and how much we have.
It doesn’t matter how much love you get from other people. It doesn’t matter what your body looks like or how many pretty, awesome, expensive things you have. If you don’t love yourself, it’s all just a guise, a false front. The core of happiness isn’t there.
Here’s the Truth: If we don’t need external validation, we’re much more inclined to follow our hearts. And if we all followed that precious, holy space called our heart more often we would be kinder, more loving, and less afraid.
5 Ways to Love Yourself Right Now
These are by no means the only ways. You get to decide the ways that work for you because you are a powerful and sovereign being with all the answers inside of you, but in case you need some help, a little information, may these 5 points be a guide.
Spend time with yourself, honestly, without distractions.
This isn’t “treat yo’self” stuff like pedicures and massages (although those are definitely good forms of self-care and can be part of self-love). This could be meditation. This could just be sitting on your couch facing bravely whatever comes up when it’s quiet and you’re alone, and actually feeling it. You can’t fall in love with someone if you don’t spend time alone with them. Spend time alone with yourself.
Get really clear on what you want.
Down to every last detail. You are worthy of whatever your heart desires. Spend the time to figure out what that is. You can do this as a grand whole, or you can do this for each little situation. What do you want when it comes to your love life? What do you want for dinner tonight? Get clear on all of it. You can’t get somewhere if you don’t know where you’re going, the more details, the better.
Stay in your body.
Embodiment is powerful. Our bodies are precious, sacred, and holy. For us to be present we must be able to stand powerfully and confidently in our own bodies. I have so much more to say about this (it’s an entire section in my book, maybe more), but this is the basis: stay in your body. Feel it. Be it. Revere it for the awesome treasure it is.
Use your voice.
This can mean different things for different people. It could be singing or chanting. It could be standing up for yourself in a situation where you’ve been walked all over or disregarded. It could be giving someone a compliment or telling them you love them. Use your voice. It’s powerful and needed.
Trust your instincts.
Stop second guessing yourself. Don’t ask why you want what you want. You can trust yourself. It’s OK if you mess up. It’s OK if you don’t get it right. You’ll still have you. At some point you have to take the leap of faith and Trust that heart of yours. Break up with the guy. Quit the job. Go travel to that place. Take the course. Share your heart. Change up your diet. Stop talking to that lady who always makes you feel inadequate. Give in to the pull. Let things fall away. Start small if you need to, but practice makes perfect and to practice trusting your True self, you’ve got to start.
If you are struggling with how to love yourself, your self-worth is dictated by external validated, or your internal thoughts are negative and need a positive change, we are here for you. Book a session today and start working on yourself so you can show up for yourself and for others the way you all deserve.