Make Your Workout Work For You

So many people resolve to up their fitness game in the new year. Whether your a beginner or a pro, you can get more bang for your workout buck by being mindful with these couple tips.

Tips for a Mindful Workout

1. Focus on what you're doing

   Don't let your mind wander. Let your workout be a break from the anxieties, sadness, regrets and existential angst of your day. Focusing on the moment also helps with getting in the zone and crushing your workout. And crushing a workout motivates you to show up and crush it tomorrow too. You're also less likely to trip on a rock on the trail or trip over a dumbbell in the gym if you're paying attention and not daydreaming or freaking out in your head. Some ideas of places to put your focus:

   • Count Reps

   • Count your cadence on a run or bike

   • Listen to music

   • Take in your surroundings

   • Pay attention to your breath

   • Focus on your form and movement

   2. Practice gratitude

   Notice how your body works. If you got your ass up and out to do an activity that involves working your body, you have a lot to be grateful for! Your body works. You have enough time and money to participate. You are doing something healthy for yourself. You are getting fitter and stronger, physically and mentally.

**Bonus points for adding an extra lift to your workout. Try lifting the corners of your mouth. Smile. You don't have to. But you can. So why not!?!

How to Deal with New Year's Resolutions If You Have an Eating Disorder

In the beginning of every year there is a societal pressure to reinvent yourself in a new way. There is a surge of ads for weight loss programs and fitness apps that sends a message that you need to be a “new you.” In surveys about new year’s resolutions, about half of people stated that they wanted to lose weight. But these changes are easier said than done, and they can be triggering for those with eating disorders.

Disordered Eating and Resolutions

The difficulty of following through on new habits doesn’t disappear just because it is a new year, and what started as self-improvement becomes an exercise in self-punishment.  

Diet culture runs rampant in the beginning of every year, but creating “resolutions” that involve goal weights, restricted eating and fad diets, or obsessively working out can cause more stress and give people larger problems than they might think. Creating goals surrounding a number can make people obsess in an unhealthy way. It can start people down a path of disordered eating or disordered working out that can cause more stress and more anxiety than they are ready for.

How to Deal with Triggering Resolutions

Resolutions that involve weight loss can be extremely triggering to those who are in recovery. If you are someone who is in recovery, stand up for yourself and tell the people around you that you don’t want to hear about any resolutions that deal with weight loss or exercise. Stay off of social media if possible. Listen to anit-diet podcasts that help affirm your new ways of thinking about food and exercise. If you can’t avoid it and have found that you are triggered and thinking more about your own body in ways you are trying to get away from, reach out to your therapist for help.

New Year, Same You

Because the pandemic, politics, working from home, and other societal issues have caused more stress for most of us, this January is a perfect opportunity to forget the results-oriented resolutions or reinventing yourself and make a new kind of promise to yourself. Think about what is truly important in your life, what makes you happy, or what helps you thrive and make a commitment to prioritize this. 

If you work from home , now is a good time to reevaluate your boundaries around this activity. You may have lost touch with some family or friends during the stress of the last few years and you want to reprioritize these relationships. Maybe you’ve seen someone take up a new skill or hobby in the past few years that you think would be fun to try. 

2025 New Year Resolution Ideas: 

• Chase joy

• Keep a gratitude journal

• Do more of something you love 

• Commit to a better work-life balance

• Be more present 

• Focus on the positive

• Connect with family and friends more often

This year try something new. Instead of focusing on the things you don’t like, embrace what makes you happy, what you already like about yourself, or what you already have and resolve to foster more of it in your life. 

Holiday Survival Tips: Building Your Emotional Resiliency - Part 2 of 2

In Part 1 of this series I broke the news to you that holidays are stressful (you're welcome!) and I took you through some ways to lengthen your emotional fuse by take care of your physical self. So now that you're treating any illness, eating balanced, working out regularly, sleeping well, and avoiding cigarettes and coffee (right!?! we're all skill ninjas on that front, right!?!? good!).

4 Tips to Build Emotional Resilience

So this time I'm gonna give some more skills to make you more psychologically resilient. These aren't one and done, quick fix, cure all's. But, if done regularly, they can help you ride out the emotional shit storms that come around.

1. Build mastery. It's hard to feel confident and grounded when everything in your day feels incomplete or stressful or too challenging. Do at least one thing a day that makes you feel confident and competent. For me, it's making my bed or playing a game of "words with friends" or checking off an errand on a to-do list.

2. Practice gratitude. Studies have repeatedly proven the psychological benefits of gratitude on mood and cognition. You can write it down or say it out loud, but don't just keep it in your head. I like writing down 5-10 gratitude every morning but doing a less structured and more spontaneous practice works too.

3. Breathe deeply. Breathing calms the nervous system and promotes ability to think clearly and process events and emotions. Often we go about our day on auto pilot, not breathing well. Breathing deeply roots you in the present moment. You know you're breathing deeply if you can hear the air come in and out of your nose and if you can feel your belly rise and fall with each inhalation and exhalation.

4. Laugh. You don't have to, but you can. And if you can, why not!?! Laughing doesn't mean everything's ok. It simply means you're embracing the lite and fun and silly parts of life too. So watch that funny show, listen to your favorite comedian, call your funny friend, watch ridiculous YouTube videos of babies cracking up at cats falling down...Whatever it is that helps you get your laugh on, go for it!

And, if you need more help, please contact us. We'd love to support you and your family. We are offing virtual therapy sessions during this difficult time.

Holiday Survival Tips: Building Your Emotional Resiliency - Part 1 of 2

News flash: The holidays are stressful! Especially when you’re also dealing with a pandemic and navigating social distancing in a time of social events and gatherings! You're gonna need as long an emotional fuse as you can get to manage family, friends, work, shopping, and all the emotions that this time of year can dig up.

5 Tips to Emotionally Survive the Holidays

Here's part one of two, on how to build your emotional resiliency. These suggestions are based on Marsha Linehan's DIalectical Behavior Therapy skills. This set addresses ways to keep your outer warrior (your body) strong so it can protect and serve your inner warrior (your heart and mind).

1. Treat physical illness. This is not a time to just suck it up, walk it off, and pretend you're superhuman. If you are physically run down, you are more susceptible to being emotionally run down. So take those vitamins, get lots of water and rest, see the doctor sooner than later.

2. Eat moderately and healthfully. If you're on a strict diet or if you're over-indulging on the regular, you will be more likely to have big, overwhelming emotions. No need to feel sluggish and bloated or deprived and hangry on top of other holiday stressors.

3. Avoid/limit mood altering substances. Unlike the air traffic controller in "Airplane", the holidays are the EXACT right time to quit sniffing glue! Haha. But seriously, while nicotine, caffeine, alcohol, marijuana may help in the moment, they can keep you from appropriately managing your emotions, give you a false sense of your energy, and leave you more frazzled and less grounded in the long run.

4. Get moving. Moderate physical exercise can be a way to distract, unwind, breathe deeply, and release stress. Bonus points if you move in nature, move mindfully, and practice gratitude for your body while you're getting a workout in.

5. Get enough sleep. There's a million things to do and not enough time to do it. Trust me, I get it. And, to be able to participate as fully and meaningfully in the activities and not burn out early, sleep is important. Try to get in a routine, focus on sleep hygiene, and prioritize sleep.

You won't/ can't be perfect at all this. That's not even the point. The point is: when possible, be as thoughtful as you can be about protecting (and lengthening, when possible) that emotional fuse.

We're here to help too. Don't put off getting more support. Contact us or book an appointment today.

An Emotional Hijacking

An emotional hijacking is something you do to yourself, or rather your amygdala does to you when you get triggered by an unexpected or very unpleasant event.  This happens when your emotions overtake your thought processes and your executive functioning goes offline.  It’s when the smart part of the brain gets beaten by the ancient lizard part.

These moments can be filled with fear or anger or a range of other unpleasant emotions.  Here are some of the reasons people get triggered so quickly:

• Events from the past have not been properly worked though

• Somebody is pushing your buttons

• There are current life stressors you are having difficulty managing

• You have found out devastating news like a partner having an affair

• You and your partner have the same argument over and over

• You have little to no self-care and others always seem to come first

The good news is that we have tools to help you combat these nasty occurrences and get you back on track.  We also have ways to avoid going there in the first place.  If you need help avoiding or working through an emotional stress, then give us a call so we can give you all we know.  But we don’t want to leave you without a few tools.  

First, remember to take several very deep breaths and intentionally notice what is happening.  Realize you are going to that place again and take a step back.  Before your smart brain goes completely offline, do your best to not get lost in the emotional lizard brain.  In the beginning, this takes substantial effort.  After some practice, this becomes much easier.

We would love to give you a plethora of additional tools that we know work wonders.  Call us today!

Groundhog Day, How to Not Do Things Over and Over

You've probably seen the movie Groundhog Day where Bill Murray keeps repeating the day over and over and over.  If you are doing this in your life, whether at work, home or with family, here are some things to consider.

If you have a habit that isn't serving you, get yourself a new one.  For example, if you find yourself being defensive constantly, you need to switch it up.  Instead of remaining in your defensive posture, try to take in what the other person is saying as information and not an attack.  You might tell the other person that you know you have a pattern of getting defensive and that you are trying to get out of that cycle.  If they hear you coming from a place of invitation to discuss and not a stance of defensiveness, you might find yourself having a totally different interaction.  Remember that they are used to you pushing back and possibly not being open minded.

This might be tough at first especially if the other person stays stuck in their routine of attack and blame.  If this happens, try to remain calm and always remember that if you can focus on your own reactions, you will help manage the other person.  You are trying to shift the way things have been going for months, but most likely years.  Be patient with yourself and the other person.

Habits solidify over time, not overnight.  Give yourself and your partner time to adjust and don't give up.  Like I always say, you don't walk into the gym and come out with a six pack stomach.  You need to practice new skills on a daily basis until it becomes a habit.  Once you get the habit into muscle memory, it becomes so much easier.

If you need help breaking up with your habits, or learning how to switch it up, we are here for you. Schedule an appointment today.

The Post Without a Name

My fantastic day that was taken away

The day that was supposed to be all about me isn’t

First world problems and why am I whining?

I’m selfish, this is my job as a mommy

Now I feel guilty

I had a day all to myself.  All about me.  I was even excited at 2 am.  I had trouble sleeping but that was ok because I had a day of rest and relaxation planned out with some work and chores thrown in.  Then, at 4 am the dog decides he must go outside.  He did his business then decided it was a great time to roll all over while I am glaring at him from the other side of the door.  Finally I fell back asleep around 6 am.  Alarm goes off at 6:20, but that’s ok because I still have my whole day when I get back from morning errands.  

My son woke up not feeling any better from the night before.  He’s staying home.  My husband forgot to have a meeting with me about money, which is fine at night but stressful when we rush it in the morning.  Then we can’t find the right super hero show on TV and can’t find the network password to find it on the Apple TV.  We ran out of batteries for the remote so I took them out of the bathroom scale.  Now my English Breakfast Tea is cold.  All the while I am really trying to breathe and tell myself these are such minor things. But that also means that I was seriously getting pissy about my day being taken away.

I was supposed to wake up, do school drop off while listening to our book on audible together.  It’s a fun morning tradition complete with dragons, sword battles for legendary characters, etc.. Then I listen to my new book on the way home.  The best part was upon arrival at home I would begin my new workout today and healthy eating plan.  Sigh…  

It’s now 8:35 am.  My plan is to now rearrange my crappy mindset.  Obviously I can still make this day about me, but my little (not so little) guy comes first.  “Mommy please get me my pillow” makes my heart melt.  Now that it is quiet here, I have regrouped and will make the day what it was originally going to be but with a few minor tweaks.  

Conclusion?  My day was great, it was exactly as it was meant to be.  Sometimes changing my mindset takes a bit of extra effort.  But it always makes me feel better.  Taking a pause, several deep relaxing breaths and tuning into what is actually the most important feels right.  The days will continue to be occasionally messy and they can still be cleaned up.  My day turned out to be quiet, peaceful and soothing.  EXACTLY what I wanted in the first place. 

May Meditation Series: Focused attention

We all have monkey minds. Our minds chatter, swing from thought to thought, and, sometimes, even hurl shit at us.

To help tame the monkey mind, we can practice mindfulness to focus our attention.

One of my favorite ways to practice is four square breathing.

To do this:

1. Breathe in for four counts. Keep your focus on your in breath. Maybe notice the air passing through your nostrils or your abdomen expanding.

2. Pause. Hold your breath for four counts.

3. Breathe out for four counts. Again, notice the sensation of breath passing through your nostrils or your abdomen falling.

4. Pause for a count of four.

5. Repeat steps 1-4 four times.

Your mind may wander and monkey around. If it does, label it "thinking" and return to focusing on your breath.